I have always befriended those who were a little out there or had problems in their life. It was never on a conscious level but I always found those people. Maybe everyone has extreme problems and I just don’t realize it but it seems I always connect with those who are messed up. I can begin back in third grade with my first crazy friendship.

Mary was in my class. We started to set up play dates. Both of us loved barbies. But we seemed to be beyond our years. Our barbies had sex, experienced teen pregnancies, divorce, cheating, etc. It was the world television showed us. She was the younger sister of a teenager so MTV and adult content ruled our television programming. I loved the Backstreet Boys, she was obsessed with *Nsync. We were best friends for 5 years. But it took me almost 5 years to realize how bizarre she was. Mary was manipulative. Her parents gave in to everything she asked for but I assume that was due to the affairs her mother was having at the diner she worked at for a living. Mary went to a psychologist weekly although I’m still not sure why. She had a strange look in her eye, often giving others a death stare even at the age of 8 years old. There was another girl she was best friends with but I wasn’t allowed to see. Her family would talk about how strange her other friend was, that she was annoying, Mary would say she copied her and that she was really a messed up person. We met once on a play date at Mary’s house. Mary couldn’t handle us both being there and eventually freaked out. In 7^th grade, her friend and I spoke on the phone. Everything Mary said about her, she said about me to her friend! I couldn’t believe it. We called Mary out on it and our friendship ended in that one phone call. After that she was distant and I could see how strange she had been and still was. I would miss the friendship I thought I once had. I never realized how controlling she was of me.

There’s my best friend Gina. There was a 5^th grade week long field trip to go on a camping trip. I had just had surgery and couldn’t attend. Gina’s family couldn’t afford to send her. We met that week at school with the rest of the kids who couldn’t go. We were instant friends. In 7^th grade I found out that her dad was physically abusing her. It was devastating to me. I should have kept the information to myself but I quickly conferred with our mutual friends. We all agreed something should be done. My mom and I had her meet with a trusted teacher to confide in her. I literally had to drag her by her pony tail because she was so afraid to tell. I just couldn’t handle this anymore and knew we needed to tell. The teacher was very comforting and set up a time to talk to the school social worker. After that the teacher wouldn’t talk to us anymore. We would show her huge bruises on her body and she would say to go to the social worker. I know now that was just protocol but she did not make Gina or I feel that she cared. She wouldn’t accompany Gina or really speak with us anymore. Gina was devastated and shut down. Worst off, I was blamed for this additional rejection in her life. Luckily a year later her parents divorced but she was still emotionally abused and rejected. Her mother had been beat as much if not more than Gina and lost herself worth. There was nothing left for her to give to Gina. Throughout high school Gina would go on fasts, cut herself, purposely fail classes, started smoking cigarettes, skipped classes, and hated herself. It was frustrating and confusing for myself. Gina was also very popular with the underdogs of the school. Everyone knew her and loved her. She was a hyper ball of crazy fun. It was strange to think this seemingly happy person was dying inside. Her great grandfather died and things got worse, but she bounced back after a few months. Somehow the school nurses convinced her to go to community college. They even got her a scholarship. She got a 4.0 her first semester. It was amazing considering she failed or just passed in high school. Then in January her great grandmother died of lung cancer. It was devastating to her. She started popping pills to feel good. She quickly got addicted and became an angry person. Luckily they only lasted a little over six months. But she jumped right into something just as bad; anorexia. 3 years later she still is struggling with her eating disorder and depression. Gina went to several in patient programs, outpatient programs, some of the best in the country, saw a counselor, and a nutritionist. She always went back to counting calories and avoiding food. One time I checked her in to a local program. She weighed a mere 80 lbs. It scared me to death. It still does. This damaged individual is my best friend of 13 years. I still don’t know when her struggles will end and I’m afraid to lose her.

These are just two of the many.

Gary is from a family where everyone fends for themselves. He has been a cutter, dropped out of high school, drank excessively, purposely hurt himself, and solely depended on whoever was his significant other at the moment. Now he’s in Iraq defending his country.

Ally is from a Middle Eastern family where women don’t have the freedom men do. They aren’t extreme but she still was more restricted than her younger brothers. In college, she rebelled by becoming one of the biggest pot heads I know. She drinks and smokes every day. I even hear she’s dabbled in other drugs as well.

Alex’s father died from cancer a few years ago. He still hasn’t dealt with this huge loss in his life.

Jen’s parents were heroin addicts. She and her sister would be in the house as their parents and friends would use. Her aunt and uncle fought for them and gained custody.

Other friends of mine are just strange without any apparent reason. I have a hand full of friends who can be categorized as “normal”. No huge problems. No strange habits. No horrible pasts. Just normal people who have normal problems. Or at least that I’m aware of.

I don’t mind or care. It just seems strange that my friends usually have a common theme; tragedy.

Do you seem to connect with certain kind of people?